Alt-text: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserve it.”
I used to post about science fiction futures, poetry, and all things queer. Nowadays I use this Tumblr to grapple with the lifelong depression & anxiety I was in denial about until recently. A blanket warning to all those who make the mistake of following me: hic svnt leones. My apologies for the self-indulgent juvenilia, but little else gets me through these days.
May 24, 2013
May 20, 2013
May 19, 2013
May 18, 2013
“I spent my life learning to feel less.” — Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
May 17, 2013
Earthquake this morning.
I got kicked out of grad school today. There’s a few more layers of bureaucracy before it’s official. There might be a chance to appeal it still, but I don’t know how to anymore. I’ve tried so hard and so long. But instead of support all I’ve found is indifference or scorn.
I’m tired of everything being so damn hard.
May 16, 2013
May 15, 2013
May 13, 2013
May 11, 2013
And that’s the most frustrating thing about depression. It isn’t always something you can fight back against with hope. It isn’t even something — it’s nothing. And you can’t combat nothing. You can’t fill it up. You can’t cover it. It’s just there, pulling the meaning out of everything. That being the case, all the hopeful, proactive solutions start to sound completely insane in contrast to the scope of the problem.
It would be like having a bunch of dead fish, but no one around you will acknowledge that the fish are dead. Instead, they offer to help you look for the fish or try to help you figure out why they disappeared.
(x)You know when you read something that’s so accurate that you don’t know how to words?
Yeah.
(via recoveryandmentalhealth)
May 2, 2013
"You have to find the right distance between people. Too close, and they overwhelm you. Too far, and they abandon you."
— Hanif Kureishi (via cherrylet)
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